Specializing In Psychotherapy for Couples

Site Last Updated: December, 2008

I am a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in the East Bay (Lafayette, California), and I specialize in working with couples. My clients generally come to me with one of the following situations: either they are looking to reduce the pain and distress in their relationships, or they wish to deepen an already wonderful connection between the two of them. In either situation, weekly couples therapy makes a difference, and often in a very short amount of time.

I'm a very interactive therapist, and my clients tell me that they appreciate that I do more than just ask them "how does that make you feel?"

Common Couples Therapy Issues

• De-Escalating Conflict / Getting Unstuck
• Understanding the cycle/pattern of repetitive arguments and misunderstandings
• Resolving old wounds (having your partner hear/understand those moments when you felt abandonned by him/her)
• Resolving communication meltdowns
• Enhancing the supportive bond between the two of you
• Regaining secure attachment with your partner
• Finding or Re-Finding the passion
• Turning arguments into intimate and loving conversations
• Discovering new ways of communicating your needs to your partner
• Heading off arguments before they become painful and hurtful
• Finding ways of talking about sex, finances, in-laws, intimacy, and other sensitive topics
• Getting more of what you really want from your partner
• And...for separating/divorcing couples: Exploring ways of separating with love and compassion, and even successful co-parenting after the breakup of the marriage or partnership

Theoretical Orientation:

While I work using a variety of modalities, I was trained as a psychodynamic therapist, and specifically attachment theory. Thus, I have a particular lens through which I formulate treatment plans. I believe that we are hard-wired for secure attachment to others and that symptoms develop when our most primal needs are not being met: the need to be heard, to be seen, to be understood, and to feel that we matter to the important people in our lives. When these things aren't happening, we experience "attachment injury" and as a result, our relationships become unbalanced, our symptoms increase, and our security feels threatened. I work with my clients to validate these experiences and to create more effective ways of getting needs met.

Choosing a Psychotherapist is a Very Personal Decision.
The confidential relationship that you have with your therapist should be one in which you feel heard, understood, and safe. I recognize that each client is unique and I remain flexible in the way that I work.

Education:

• Master's Degree, Counseling Psychology
  John F. Kennedy University, Pleasant Hill (East Bay, Contra Costa County), CA

Additional Training:

• Emotionally Focused Therapy for Couples (EFT): An Attachment-Based Perspective For Healing Relationships
• EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization & Reprocessing) Therapy
• Prepare/Enrich Trained - Administer and Assess Pre-Marital and Marriage Inventories
• Couples Communication
• Working With Children and Parents of Divorce
• Existential Therapy
• Managing Chronic Pain and Chronic Illness
• Co-Parenting for Divorcing and Separating Couples/Families
• Creating Intimacy
• Understanding Attachment Disorders

The Obstacle Is The Path

Every challenging situation in our lives presents us with an opportunity -- to gain insight, to enrich our understanding of ourselves and others, to seek purpose in our lives, or to create more satisfying relationships.

Taking the next step, seeking out a therapist and beginning the journey toward insight and change, takes courage and motivation. You'll know when you're ready to do that. If you have questions or would like to set up a first appointment, feel free to leave me a confidential voicemail.

Fees:
My fee is $100 for a 50-minute session, and $150 for an 80-minute session. Therapy is generally once per week, although crisis times may be best served by more frequent therapy. I am currently accepting new clients and look forward to speaking with you.

Linda J. Engelman
Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, MFC#46255

Confidential Voicemail
925.295.1036

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